Three more papers and my first prelims shall conclude. I just can't wait for the release from this passive and gradual torment. I must admit that the lack of sleep is really pissing me off. It makes me very short-tempered and spastic, in a sense. It makes me lethargic, the type of tiredness that enables you to sleep while you're standing in the MRT. And eventually drop your books and make a fool out of yourself :d


Regardless how mundane or crucial you think of your grades, the continuous regurgitating and copying from all the memorising is very... No matter how much of the original article/essay you maanged to write down as your answer, it is nevertheless one or another cliche platitude meant to show that you have studied hard for it.

Ugh, if only managing personal relationships aren't that hard and I had the courage to break the news-

I am a firm believer of students who don't listen and learn, instead of a teacher who can't teach. Pfft, if the teacher couldn't teach, how the heck did I get A1 for that subject last year?

Slumdog Millionaire is such a nice show. Amusing and creative way of presenting the story.

new blogskin.

In the midst of prelim 1, I seriously question myself why do I have time to play dota, or obviously change my blogskin.

This is a new skin, hope you guys enjoy it while reading about my boring aimless life.

I like to wake up from a nightmare, at least I know life isn't so bad to me.

A dark shade of grey clouds over Prelim 1.

Practice, practice, practise, practise.

Today was very humid. Without the air conditioning in the classroom, it was like studying in the arid desert. The air was overwhelmingly stuffy and I must admit I could have suffocated in there. Or maybe an asthmatic attack even though I had no history of such illness. And it totally dampen the mood for studying. Hopefully, this problem can be resolved tomorrow, or at least provide an explanation though we all roughly know what the reason is, don't we?

In retrospect, I do feel that sometimes I speak without considering the feelings of someone else. However, please do not misintepret or misunderstand. It sucks to wear an obsequious smile, being ostensibly happy and cheerful about something while I am not.

Oh, and please don't read into stuff too much sometimes :) Might be some random thoughts that are required to pen down, lest I forget about them.
Time for How To Lose Friends And Alienate People.

Daffodil.

Yet another valentine's day passed by without anything happening. Except for the jealous and envious stares at couples.


Dear Narcissus,
You do not need to fear of the prospect of your friends withering or getting plucked away by others. You do not have to commit yourself to things just to please your friends, whether they are narrow-minded, self-centered, parsimonious or egocentric. You do not have to feel pressurized by them too. The choice of when to bloom is entirely yours, and not supposed to be susceptible to the pressure of your peers. It is your own life to live. And do not get too curious about the imponderable mysteries of life. They are just not meant to be defined, properly. Which makes life compelling and a joy to live.

Regards.
P.S. Do smile more, you look better when you are.

I hereby sincerely apologise to those who felt offended or are offended by the 11th February 2009 post. It might not be what you are percieving. This might be late as the damage has already been done, but it is important to clear the air.

I really need to come clean with this.
Part of the post was what my impulse dictated me to write. My own selfish thoughts without ever considering the feelings of those who might have seen, hurted by this post. I sincerely regretted not questioning my conscience after publishing the post. The obnoxious bitching remarks in the post must had really pissed some people off upon reading it, I really resented my foolish side.

However, some parts were added for the drama effect. I admit that I use my blog to experiment on writing, therefore a disclaimer is a must, to avoid untimely misunderstandings that will scar or destroy the relationships we shared. Parts like

'There you go, spin another tale which I am bored or tired of. Excuses, excuses. Apologies, apologies. Suprise suprise, not.'

is purely thought out by me to experiment on writing. If such sentences lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretation, I shall stop writing imaginary stuff to please myself. Just drop me a message.

Thank you.
Awfully deep regrets and I ask for your pardon and forgiveness.

Jealous.

It is not gonna be same. It will never be the same again.

The tides have changed, but you declared that you still kept your stand. I believed you. However, your actions told another story. Your lukewarm heart betrayed yourself. Strangely, I have developed cynical views about the word which we once shared. The events that led to this, seriously, exacerbated the mutual feelings of respect and understanding.

Contrived conversations, tepid responses. Its in jeopardy, isn't it? I'll try to be impervious, but its not helping with the things that you do.

There you go, spin another tale which I am bored or tired of. Excuses, Excuses. Apologies, apologies. Suprise suprise, not.

Time is never enough for us to spend or waste. We all have the same 24hours-a-day rule. Its how we decide and divide the time up that counts.

Pfft, might as well throw it behind us and leave me alone right? Might as well move on with life and quit writing rants like this. Like anyone would learn from this foolish pile of incessant whining. I'll bury myself in the deep depths of knowledge and books and my own world. CHMA is gonna be fucking pwnage. Oh wait, I won't be able to turn up. Caught up with something else, hate to be tied down. Watch me.

Some people can wait, some things can't.
Some things can wait, some people can't.

Life is so fascinating.

A sudden urge to buy the discontinued Polaroid.

For those who take soccer a degree more serious than the rest,
I have four words. FUCK OFF AND DIE (Mr.Glenni's infamous quote).

I play to relax, to release all those pent up frustration after the 5 days in school. Through shouting and running about crazily. I don't play with a serious mindset much.

After all, you play soccer to make friends, not to showoff how good you are with the ball and not life.

Look at the time, two days ago it was my birthday.

In a few more days time, prelim 1. Prelim 1 sounds like a joke, but not to be taken as a joke.
Yeah, call me kiasu or whatever you would like to, but keep it to yourself, please. I do not want to know. I'll start revising from next week. Maybe some people have already started theirs. But its always better to be late than never.

Obviously I do not want my well-dreamt dream to be shattered abruptly by a piece of certificate.


Consistency is key. Hard work pays off. Though not everytime. But disappointment is part and parcel of life. However, it is definitely not meant to be routine, lest it makes life too cynical, or rather, the victim's perspective of life becomes too cynical. And depression sets in. Being too emotional, low self-esteem, etc blah. Undeniably, sometimes our emotions get the better of us. And we surrender ourselves and become vulnerable to all kinds of stupid obnoxious insults, criticism or even the unachievable goal(toomuchwhatifs). I am not saying it is bad to daydream, I build sandcastles in the air as and when I like to.



The urge to swear sometimes, is simply just too overwhelming. I should really cut down on expletives. Only use them when the word is really irreplacable, in certain context. Which I will not explain over here.



Let's face reality. Am I ready?

The songs are a delight, so sweet that they never fail to cheer me up.
No matter how dark the sky is or how bad and disastrous the day went by. Regardless of how slim the chances are or how bleak the reality seems.