Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The world, or rather the planet Earth, is an intriguing place. Its inter-connectivity is mystifying because somehow you will find out that your earthling friend knows another earthling friend's friend and somehow this friend friend will know your cousin and your cousin knows this friend. You might find out this web of connection via many methods e.g. a simple birthday wish on your earthling friend's Facebook wall. Facebook is another novelty developed by two special earthlings with the initial aim of connecting people who are studying together but has apparently transformed into something else. And this something else will not be mentioned here at all, because it is another story for another day by another person.

Anyway, this inter-connectivity is usually unexpected, surprising and well, innocuous. But the experience of being part of a connection could be so emotionally complex, compunded with the gaze of a taciturn individual filled with twisting and confusing emotions due to his self belief of falling into oblivion -- such a feeling has an unexplainable effect on you that it is immutable, indescribable in words or any other form of language.

An island surrounded by azure, albeit large and terrifying volumes of water which is sufficient to sink a little red dot planet a few lightyears away from Earth, should/by the right of universal law be an ideal place to land after travelling across a desert planet called Mars. There was no rain, no thunder, no cloudy cloud, no armageddon but I spotted this white winged dude just sitting there stranded on this beautiful island. Why don't he just walk around and appreciate such gorgeous sculpting by the creator of this planet, I thought. Can he even speak?

From afar, I was shocked. I didn't even know if he was an earthling. It was just weird that he kept looking towards the distant isles; were there more white winged individuals like him? As I approached him gradually, (with my companion towel draped around my neck like a scarf, of course, to show that I'm a galaxy hitchhiker) he sat there motionless. I swear if I had a Kill-O-Zap blaster pistol with me, I would have given it a test run.

On my own volition, I asked him why he was hanging around with such nonchalance for the happenings around, i.e. the crashing of the waves, the noisy seagulls, the occasional flying fish leaping out from the surface of the monstrous volumes of water. Instead of answering me, he shot me a glance with such ice cold eyes that I was positive it was as cold as the temperature of Uranus.

His voice was like a whisper in the wind and he asked, 'Do you have any friends?' (some weirdly phrased question which I could not remember/hear verbatim but I got the gist of it)

It was a difficult question to answer because it was difficult to think straight after arriving back in the Earth after ten human years. I think I told him no, not really and extended my hand to him (a form of social convention and friendly gesture which I still do not and do not want to understand). But I think he managed to understand the gesture and he simply smiled at me. The type of warm smile when two (lonely) individuals meet after an arduous and tiring journey and give it to each other, which usually implies that there is an understand/link between them and a new friendship is thus, formed.

Well, I didn't mind a friend with wings. But the first thing he said afterwards was, 'I need to pee.'

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

OMG sodagreen went liverpool !!!

Patiently awaiting new albums from sodagreen and linkin park!
Not that I'm bored of their old materials, just that i want more and more and more.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Don't you think that butterflies are beautiful creations? From an ugly caterpillar to a cocoon before making a transition to have bright, colourful and detailed wings. The butterfly metamorphosis is so magnificent that you wish everyone will be like that -- emerging with a beautiful soul.

Social butterfly/wallflower.


Life makes a fool out of those who mocks it. And behind every face or mask, there's an ugly side which you would not want to know. I guess you couldn't even recognise the same person even if you tried to. Like a moth, not as glamorous as the butterfly, not as popular as the butterfly.

And so I beg you for clemency. Please do not condone me to the deceit you put on every day. I would rather you be apathetic and I live my mundane life, without having to care of your incorrigible acts and haughtiness.

/random

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I am such a bad kid...

but nevermind, it is the end result that really matters.

***
Today was fun day haha. I went to buffet with milton congning and ngiapseng even though I didn't go school muahahaha.

can't wait for sundown and holidays!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The stakeholder theory and the power theory.
The currencies of power.

Social science can be so intriguing.


Just soldier on, this battle can't be won that easily.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Reflections.

So biology lecture test didn't go as well as I thought it would be - 8.5/40, which is like 20%?
No, I'm kidding myself. I didn't even study for it; why should I even expect it to turn out well?

And then, chemistry lecture test was 10.5/30, another crap result which is a complete opposite reflection of my ability in chemistry (I hope).

This recent turn of events really made me think. I believe it is my fault, it has to be my fault. I had given up on myself, let myself down by not studying, by not going the extra mile, by not squeezing out every effort in me. I wouldn't even try to blame anyone else, other than myself. My attitude was reprehensible.

My garbled scripts were littered with misconceptions and futile attempts to cover up the gaps of knowledge. After re-reading what I wrote, I found my answers pathetic. It is definitely not the time to be ascetic and tell myself that 'I still have one more year to make up for it.' After being contrite, it is time to pick myself up and work hard towards infinity.

Why? Because I don't lack inspiration, just lacking in the motivation department.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

I'm gonna start at 9 and stop at 11. That's just for my impending chem lecture test if you're interested.

JUST TOO LAZY TO WRITE ANYTHING HERE.
If only life involves me lying on the sofa reading a book or watching dramas from my desktop only.

Monday, May 03, 2010

You know life is being a bitch when you spend forty minutes trying to access a fucking webpage just to download something - and then you have to wait and wait and wait even more after visiting that webpage just to download something.

At the moment, I have 100% of inspiration but zero motivation at all. It is like a car without fuel; I can't move on, can't get anything can't go anywhere. I can't find anything purposeful in school. I won't say I feel useless in life. I'm only seventeen and I haven't seen anything yet. But right now, I'm lost. I'm going nowhere. I'm trying to get to the positive side of life but I'm stuck at zero.

It is like getting stuck in a dense forest and I see no river, no light, no exit at all.

I hope I will pull myself through.