my dad.

How old are your cousins? I suppose most will say around your age or maybe in the 20s.
Guess mine. I have cousins throughout the whole age spectrum. From as young as 6, till as advanced in adulthood as 41 or maybe older.

Will you be married at 41 years old? My dad married when he was in a ripe age of 39. I'm 16 this year. He is 56 this year. Assuming I will be taking two year pre-u and a five years or maybe six years medicine course. By the time I get my first paycheck, my dad will already be ... roughly 65. When he gets to carry his first grandchild, he should be 67 or so, approaching the 70s. It saddens me everytime I realise the fact that I cannot bring joy to the family much earlier. Or rather, my parents cannot enjoy their life much earlier. My dad still has to slog it out for another five years or so, for my brother,sister and my education.

I can tell he wants to carry and take care of his grandchild. I can see it when he sees my cousin's two years old boy. The envious feeling that sparked in his eyes. The enthusiastic tone that came out from him when he spoke to the child. I can tell he is working very hard for the family. From the scars left by worry and time on his face, skin. From the constant drinking and smoking, citing it relieves stress and pressure.
I shall work hard to provide a comfortable life for both of my parents.

Dear Dad, you're not young anymore. Would you please spare a thought for your health and family? Stop smoking the damn stick of tobacco and nicotine and hazardous mix of toxins. I need you when I am approaching adulthood to provide me with sound advice. I need you to be my pillar. I can't contemplate the fact that you're gone.
Dear Dad, if only you would view this page.

You reap what you sow.

Thanks to the can of Carlsberg I had, now my whole back is like reddish and itchy. As if like some kind of extra skin grew on it. Like an allergy. Gosh, what if I am really alcohol-allergic? This kind of skin irritation or whatever you call it, is like eczema, without the scarring, but damn itchy.

I need a cure for the itch. Damn, I am getting a Heineken the next time.

Reunion dinner.

Today's dinner is probably be the best of my 16 years in planet Earth.

It was, steamboat, nevertheless, same as the past usual years. Last time, it was packed with relatives sharing the dinner table. This year, it is the only year, the whole family of 5 managed to sit down and eat together. Pretty heartwarming. Especially, my dad realised that the whole family was sitting down and eating together. We talked over things. I've never really understand how a family sit down together and talk. Well, I had a clearer picture now. From the years which I've understood and acknowledged the fact that most families have their dinner together, I must say, it is a very good experience.

To have lunch or dinner or both meals together. In your home, not just any restaurants as conversations tend to be more contrived in the public. Today is probably the first day that we had dinner together. I will definitely not forget this special day.

Short post before I hit the dreams.

Let's build sandcastles in the air. They are the blueprint, the big plan for the future. And then afterwards, we shall build the foundations. No such thing as daydreaming, let's work hard to achieve, to reach for our dreams and goals. We start from the bottom. Everyone has to do that.

I think I must be weird and caffeine sensitive. A cup of coffee in the morning increases my alertness, makes me more attentive. I don't sleep in class, usually, unless classes are utterly boring and even the cleaner's stories are more interesting. However, caffeine makes me feel damn jumpy and cranky, if those are the correct ways of describing that kind of irritating feeling that makes you wanna shout or do silly things any time you like.

Oh, and this year, I wanna challenge myself to take up challenges, to complete them, to achieve goals, to do new things, which means...to do my homework and hand them up punctually. Well...that is one of them.

My posts have been rather short nowadays. I guess that is a change for good. Change is hard, habits die hard. Perhaps, I am not a grumpy, angsty person in nature.

Postcards from far away.

Aiming for 7A1s. That would suffice.
Aiming for ACSI IB.
Aiming for a ticket to London to study med.
Aiming for a place in the school.

I will not be disappointed if I failed to achieve them.
That will all contribute to life experiences.
The ups and downs. Xs and Ys, variables.

Aspirations. Goals. Targets to attempt and achieve.
They might change, but that's life, its unpredictable.
Or else there would be textbooks for life too.

I had my share of bad luck already.
Time to turn it around, and work it to my advantage.
Nothing is impossible.
Barely surviving.