I am such a bad kid...

but nevermind, it is the end result that really matters.

***
Today was fun day haha. I went to buffet with milton congning and ngiapseng even though I didn't go school muahahaha.

can't wait for sundown and holidays!

The stakeholder theory and the power theory.
The currencies of power.

Social science can be so intriguing.


Just soldier on, this battle can't be won that easily.

Reflections.

So biology lecture test didn't go as well as I thought it would be - 8.5/40, which is like 20%?
No, I'm kidding myself. I didn't even study for it; why should I even expect it to turn out well?

And then, chemistry lecture test was 10.5/30, another crap result which is a complete opposite reflection of my ability in chemistry (I hope).

This recent turn of events really made me think. I believe it is my fault, it has to be my fault. I had given up on myself, let myself down by not studying, by not going the extra mile, by not squeezing out every effort in me. I wouldn't even try to blame anyone else, other than myself. My attitude was reprehensible.

My garbled scripts were littered with misconceptions and futile attempts to cover up the gaps of knowledge. After re-reading what I wrote, I found my answers pathetic. It is definitely not the time to be ascetic and tell myself that 'I still have one more year to make up for it.' After being contrite, it is time to pick myself up and work hard towards infinity.

Why? Because I don't lack inspiration, just lacking in the motivation department.

I'm gonna start at 9 and stop at 11. That's just for my impending chem lecture test if you're interested.

JUST TOO LAZY TO WRITE ANYTHING HERE.
If only life involves me lying on the sofa reading a book or watching dramas from my desktop only.

You know life is being a bitch when you spend forty minutes trying to access a fucking webpage just to download something - and then you have to wait and wait and wait even more after visiting that webpage just to download something.

At the moment, I have 100% of inspiration but zero motivation at all. It is like a car without fuel; I can't move on, can't get anything can't go anywhere. I can't find anything purposeful in school. I won't say I feel useless in life. I'm only seventeen and I haven't seen anything yet. But right now, I'm lost. I'm going nowhere. I'm trying to get to the positive side of life but I'm stuck at zero.

It is like getting stuck in a dense forest and I see no river, no light, no exit at all.

I hope I will pull myself through.