'All I ever wanted was ...'
The sentence trailed off before he could complete it. His face was soaked in a combination of perspiration and tears, which one was in larger amount he did not know.

It started off as part-fantasy-cum-part-reality thing. Everything was surreal. He couldn't differentiate between his expectations and what really happened in reality. He had placed all his energy and effort into it. It was supposed to be a large scale project, afterall. The countless hours invested into planning, number of sleepless nights facing the demons of insomnia, endless torments by the possibilities of screw-ups just went down to the drain. And they will now be replaced by the trauma of this disappointing failure.

It wasn't what everyone would imagine to happen, not even himself.

Bloodshot eyes and on the verge of closing, disheveled hair and drenched in perspiration after hours sitting under the sizzling hot fun, his look presented a sense of pathetic despondence. He clenched his fist, gritted his teeth, for nothing. He tried to pick himself up and stand up after this fall. But he couldn't. It was like even gravity is pulling him down, restricting his movement and making fun of his misery. What for? To prevent another demoralising failure?

He just sat down there, stoically absorbing whatever the world has to offer to him.

All I ever wanted was just some recognition, some acceptance and some approval from my peers, from my parents. Are these too much to ask for?

***
this is just friggin demoralising.