I met my primary school teacher today, Mrs Cheng ( I do not really know how to spell it in English).

We had a very short conversation, which is fine for me. She could not recognize me straightaway; I had to tell her my name. It was kinda awkward, but the name jolted her memory I supposed. Her eyes lit up, maybe she had an inkling of what kind of student I was back then. She said I changed a lot.

Hmm, I changed a lot? Maybe appearance-wise, yes I did. I've grown taller, skinnier and well, darker.

But really really?

She was one of the strictest teacher I've ever met ever since I became a student. She did not hesitate to wield the cane, even though it could be one of the slightest slip-ups in a mathematics test. She taught me Chinese too, yes she was one of the brilliant teachers who built my foundation and love for the language.

I can still remember what I did when I was in her class.
Every time she or anyone in the class called my name, I replied instantly with a 'huh'.
"Leh Chuan," (in Chinese)
"Huh?"
I guess it got irritating, and sort of a bad habit. Come to think of it, I find it a nuisance too haha. It is one of those stupid things which you did when you were young. And when you've grown older and you realised how fun, stupid and poignant those days were, you make a small giggle and it simply, magically, cheers you up. But she corrected my bad habit alright. I wonder what would happen if the bad habit still continues to plague me.

I can still remember how she describe me in simply four Chinese characters, 吊儿郎当. It simply means lack of a serious attitude, laid-back, etc. I'll never forget these four words. It really, in essence, describes me. I'm not really proud of it, but I embrace it. Because I find it hard to change. I'm not like a cicada, I can't exuviate, I can't shed all the external shells and be enlightened. No, not so fast.

Did I really change?