I prefer to think that every cloud has a silver lining.

I prefer to live in my own bubble; please don't burst it, Mr. Reality.

I prefer to sit down and reminiscence the past.

I prefer to run away from the problems and not let them dampen my spirit.

But I lost all control, and everything is spinning out of my control.
Everything's a whirl.

Nothing is going my way, not that I can be bothered anymore. I can do away with this mask I am wearing, do away with the pricks I met, and run, because

The blue sky is always there for me. The green field is always there for me. The orange sunset is always there for me. The red flowers are always there for me. You are always there for me.

I may not be the best, but you are always there for me. I may not get what I want, but you will be there for me. I may not be what you always expected, but you are still there for me.

You cheer me up even if you are feeling down. You make me laugh even when everything is gloom and dark. You make my life full of vibrant and warm colors.

I could be an asshole and swear and throw tantrums and be childish, yet you tolerated, talked sense into me and made me realised my mistake.

Thank you.
For all that, I am happy and contended.
I can't possibly be stuck in one phase of life, lamenting how hard it is to fit in into the new environment, whining how hard it is to make new, trusting friends. Because I don't need to. The true friends I have are utterly 無與倫比的美麗 and completely irreplaceable.

Sometimes, I'm just tired of smiling, tired of putting up that face to tell you that I'm okay. Fact is, I'm not. I feel so sick every time I see. The tingling feeling just bites me and I feel disgusted; this cannot go on. I really would like to wipe that smile from my face because I know I am not being myself. I would like to be myself, I'm not willing to put up with this facade anymore.

Was it because of the greener pastures or the hidden twisted mind? Oh, if only the clock could turn back under my command, I would undo this wrong; but it is too late now. Nothing could be changed now, face it or run away from it.

Confront the problem, take the direct approach, be pro-active, take the initiative. It is like playing bridge, you have to initiate when you have the right cards. You can't give your enemy the chance of initiative. However, you have to think on the feet, don't be reckless, play the right cards, trump it when you can. If the odds are against you, go defensive, sap something out from him.

If you run away, you'd better keep moving. If you stop, you die. No respite at all.

And he keeps erring.

Sealed in the abyss of delusion, he is his own king.

Let's take it all back before it all went wrong.

***
人生如戏, 往事如烟. 是啊, 这就是生活.
Live for the moment, I don't want to regret anymore.
I want to embrace the beautiful memories, but all I got was a fall and a reminder from reality.

Is there a photograph that can capture all the happiness and atmosphere of the moment and allow me to relive it again and again;
Is there a place, where everyone doesn't get old, full of vitality, youth and energy;
Is there a field, where the flowers don't wither and the sun doesn't set;
Is there a tomorrow which I could relive all the days that were wasted by me;

No, they all don't exist.

Peer pressure kills.

100 Plus + lemon = genius.
But I wasn't the genius who invented it. Luckily they did their R&D properly $_$.

One more month to go. After that, maybe I'll start catching up. I hope it works like the 100m sprint analogy again. :)

A total of 5 hours of sleep in 48hours. I'm trying hard to retain my sanity.



ARGH CANNOT GIVE UP!!!

Actually, I'm supposed to write something here; I just can't think of anything to write/say.

What happened to me???! Writer's block??? GP essays seem to require really high level of maturity. Time to tune back to that frequency....

I still miss writing narratives, and laughing at my stupid plots after getting back the marked scripts.

I still miss alot of stuff, maybe I'll write them down sometime soon.
I prefer to look back and reminisce the past. The future is too scary too unpredictable too murky for me to even think about it.